Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
