let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
