if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
