Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
