loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Couch. On fire.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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