Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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