She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
