Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
