dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
