This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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