What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
