hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
