What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
