Porn is love you can see.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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