You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
