But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
