STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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