he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
