I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
