Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
