You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
