i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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