Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
