he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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