The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
