Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
