Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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