then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
