Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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