ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
