Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she told me i tasted like america
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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