You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude i'm inner monologue high
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
