Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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