I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so let's talk penis.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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