Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
