id be glad to
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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