I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
