i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
