Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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