I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
