This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
