I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
