I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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