just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
