God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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