So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can I color on your dick again?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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