I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
