from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
third nipple confirmed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
