You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
