to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
